Rent A Crone
Sometimes, you just need to talk to somebody like your mom, only not your mom.
A focused hour can make things happen. Maybe you need some clarity about your job, or a relationship, or whether you want to move to another apartment or another country. Maybe you just need to hash through a problem you’ve bored all your friends to death with and get a fresh perspective on it. Maybe it’s a major life decision and you need some support and affirmation to make it.
You need to Rent A Crone.
Hello, my name is Alma, and I’ll be your crone for the session, because … well, I’ve seen some shit and done some shit and lived to tell the tale, and I know how to work with what I’ve got to make things happen. All of that has allowed me to develop unique ways of looking at situations, reading the stories, and connecting strange dots. My intuition only gets better as I move further into the future, and honestly, there isn’t much in the world I can’t help you with.
I’m never going to tell you what to do. That never works. My job is to listen, affirm, support, and help you find the clarity and the answers you’re looking for from your own wisdom well. Help you really listen to what you’re saying, really feel what you’re feeling, and help you hear your own heart. How do you want this thing to go?
I’m not a “counselor” or a “psychologist” or a frickin’ “life-coach.” I’m certainly not a substitute for psychotherapy and I’m not trying to get you off your meds. But I know that there are some situations that can benefit from just an hour of hashing over in order to bring clarity and clear a path forward. Hell, I wish I’d have had someone like me thirty years ago! Multiple times!
You could call me an expert in Adulting, or a Wellness Mentor, Shadow Farmer, or Advanced Mistake Transmutation Specialist. A rose, by any other name … Whatever, I want you to thrive, and I know how to make an hour count. Let’s make some tea and figure it out together.
Rent A Crone rates:
$45 for 30 minutes
$75 for 60 minutes
Mileage not included. No smoking in vehicle. Be sure to fasten your seat-belt, and have a pleasant journey.