Oh, January, deliver us from our bad habits and our weight gain and our out-of-shapeness, and do it NOW!!!
Alas, no, January doesn’t work like that. Nor do February or March or any of the other ones. There is only one thing that ever works all the time, and it’s not fun or fast or easy. It’s showing up every day, consistently, and doing just a little bit better, and a little bit better, and keeping it up over a long period of time.
Yep, that’s the secret. To all of it. Weightloss, fitness, learning a language or a musical instrument or knitting or writing or painting – any and all of it. And it really doesn’t matter what you do, if you show up every day and do it, you’ll get better at it.
Some things do go quickly; you learn and practice for a couple hours and boom, you’re a maestro. Most things, no so much.
And since it’s January, and since weight loss seems to be our chronic national obsession and Covid-19 has intensified and amplified it like an enormous super-model convention, let’s just talk about slow and steady. I recently saw a meme, you probably did too, about someone opening a gym on January 1 called Resolutions that would be a gym for two weeks and a wine bar the rest of the year, and I thought, what a perfect business plan.
I wrote about my goal of walking three miles a day a few weeks ago, and yay, I can report that yes, I have in fact walked at least one mile a day every day since then (save one, after Jake the dreamy physical therapist beat up on my leg a little too much and I was super sore and it was ridiculously cold, so screw it). I have walked, in snow, in drizzle, in bitter wind and dangerous wind chills, in sunshine and under overcast skies, at least one mile every day. I was working on two miles, but my knee didn’t like it, and had to be persuaded to settle down with some ultrasound and more massage and of course, so much stretching.
I was trying to push myself too far, too fast. So now I’m back to one mile, and it’s working great, and I’m getting ready to add half a mile to that. Carefully and safely. 1.5 miles one day, one the next a few times, maybe a week, and then stick to 1.5 a day for a couple-three weeks before ramping up to two. Easy. Slow. Careful. Gentle. I have not moved as much as I should move for a long time, the past two years especially, and pushing myself too far, too fast can actually do more harm than good.
Didn’t we learn anything from the Tortoise and the Hare?
Okay, no, we didn’t. Slow and steady might win that race over there, but I have to haul ass over here.
Our whole culture is suffering from chronic stage 4 fully metastasized competition. So many of us can’t do anything just for fun; if we get really good at something we’re encouraged – nay, exhorted – to monetize it, mass produce it, throw it out into the world and go viral with it. Like we have any control over that.
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
“You snooze, you lose.”
“The early bird gets the worm, loser.”
And so on, for centuries. We watch athletes wear their bodies out training and competing, we watch singers damage their vocal cords, and we call it heroic. I’m sorry, no, it’s stupid and preventable, and if we were kinder to ourselves and had a modicum of empathy we’d extend some compassion. Shit, dude, nobody should have to inject steroids in order to stay competitive in any sport. And why do they do it? Because that’s how they get more money, more fans, more fame. They are literally killing themselves for the adoration and a hell of a lot of people either don’t care or totally support that system.
Why is it practically a crime to slow the fuck down? Why is it a scandal to take an afternoon nap or schedule a week off to do nothing but curl up in the comfiest spot and read? Why do we feel guilty when someone says “What are you doing tonight?” and “Nothing” doesn’t seem like enough to justify turning down an invitation? “I have plans, actually; I’m doing as much nothing as I can possibly squeeze into a few short but desperately needed hours.” There, fixed it.
That’s Sacred Nothing, by the way.
Rest and recovery should be like a second job, only fun and nurturing and precious.
So what I have discovered from just showing up every day and doing the best I can, is that wow, I’m starting to feel different. My clothes fit better, even though I haven’t lost any weight at all. I feel stronger and more balanced, I’m not exhausted and in pain by the time I get home from a walk, either. And hills? I’m no longer wanting to die by the time I get to the top. I have learned how to walk properly (thank you Katy Bowman), and after a few months, hills are challenging but no longer scary or too intimidating or sick-makingly steep. They’re just … up. And that’s okay. Up is good. So is down if you’re in control of it, which I am now, thank you very much.
And I know that when I hurt, I have resources, and experts to consult, and people to help. And I know that I have a limit that is ever so slowly moving because I’m showing up every day and moving it, even if it’s just a squij at a time. You can’t do something every day and not experience change. If you drink or smoke cigarettes every day you’ll become addicted. If you walk or workout or do Yoga every day, you’ll get fitter and stronger and have more endurance. It can’t not happen.
So relax. You don’t have to have it all right now. You don’t have to do it all yesterday. You don’t have to have a beach-ready body ever, whatever that even means. If you work on something a little bit every day, you’re going to master it. And if you make positive changes in the way you take care of yourself, you’re going to get healthier. And small changes done regularly over time really, truly do end up making big changes in time. Give yourself the time. Do what you can. Every little bit is good.