Fear is Ruining the Party Again

The Author at home, getting their mask on.

So … Delta. Great. And I’d say when is this shit going to be over but I know the answer is when enough people get vaccinated and good luck with that.

I’m so grateful that I live in a city where people were so anxious to get vaccinated that most of us had to travel an hour to the places where people thought it was a hoax to get it. I did it in March/April, and haven’t regretted it for an instant. I’m still wearing a mask anytime I’m in a public space, especially indoors, and I probably will for … possibly ever. Let’s face it, people are walking petri dishes and it’s hard enough work to stay healthy when there’s not a pandemic happening.

But I’m running out of patience for these people who are afraid that the vaccine is going to cause them long-term side-effects. What is worse than post-Covid permanent lung damage? Heart damage? Honestly, to my way of thinking, that’s a fate much worse than death. Living a fraction of life, not able to engage fully in anything I love doing, stripping me of purpose – no no no. I can’t even contemplate living like that. I wasn’t worried about dying nearly as much as I was worried about living like that when I drove an hour to get vaccinated at the earliest possible moment.

I know an 88 year old couple that don’t want to get vaccinated because they are worried about some unspecified long term side-effects. Seriously, guys? You’re 88. How long-term are we talking about here? And is staying in your house forever because you’re too afraid to go out better? Dying because you catch it in the grocery store is better? Never seeing your kids again is better? What? Please explain it to me using the fewest words possible. I really do want to understand. But more than that, I’d like to see you getting the most possible life out of the life you have left.

[UPDATE: The Chicago Board of Health recently released a statement regarding long-term side effects; basically, the CDC and the manufacturers of the vaccines have been following them for over a year now, and have found exactly zero long-term side effects, because the vaccine leaves the body within 3 days of the injection, so really, there’s nothing left to do any long-term damage; however, Covid itself is known to cause long-term heart and lung damage for many people and cause male infertility.]

Dolly Parton wants you to get vaccinated. Isn’t that enough? How can you say no to St. Dolly? What the actual frick is wrong with you?

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I’m begging you, please vaccinate your man. And mine. And your wicked self. And every other everybody. Do it, Jolene, you owe this town, with your ivory skin and your … glossy coat and your … eyes … Okay. Moving on. You get the point.

I do understand that some folks can’t be vaccinated due to other health issues, but from what I have seen, those folks tend to be very diligent about masking and hand washing and distancing and everything else anyway – because they know what it’s like to live with major health issues and wouldn’t wish it on any other human. I have zero problem with these folks.

But when it comes to the healthy anti-vaxxers, I’m frustrated and angry and disappointed and disgusted and yet … I do know what is driving this; people are feeling like this is something they have absolutely no control over, and react by deciding nobody is gonna tell them how to handle it because that would be giving up more control. Why won’t anorexics just eat a sammich? Because, for many of them, they feel so powerless that not eating the sammich is the only way they can control anything, even if they know, if only subconsciously, that it’s killing them. Substitute literally any self-destructive impulse for anorexia and lather, rinse, repeat. It’s a way of exerting a measure of control over an out-of-control world. A world, I have to add, that these people helped to make, because they don’t want the libruls turning all their kids gay and forcing them to have communist abortions. How much control will you have over your life if you are on a respirator, or have to be on oxygen for the rest of your life, or can’t walk without a walker? How much control do you have then, unvaccinated one?

Compassion, as always, has to be where we start with this. But tough love can sometimes be the most compassionate love. Lots of Witches have embraced the quote, Do no harm, but take no shit. “I’m not going to intentionally cause you unnecessary pain, but I’m no longer going to tolerate you causing me pain by hurting yourself.” Being nice and patient and tolerant is enabling self-destructive behavior.

We all need a trip to Amer-Anon. “Hi, my name is Alma, and my country is drunk and refuses to get vaccinated, and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

It’s hurting all of us. It’s hurting them now, too, killing more anti-vaxxers than anybody else. We can’t keep going on this way. We’re tough, but not indestructible.

The only person I can control is me. I can’t force anybody to change. I can present arguments until I am blue and shaking, but some people aren’t going to be convinced by anything except the actual threat of imminent death. These choices suck, but in order to maintain my own sanity and functionality, I am going to have to walk away from some people. And honestly, some of them will not be missed. But it’s never pleasant to look somebody in the eyes and say, “Your behavior is causing me serious distress, and since I can only take responsibility for my own actions, I have to bless you on your way.”

So here we go again. Strength, courage, compassion, and wisdom to all.

 

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