No, I’m not saying felt is sentient (though I have seen some smart felt), nor am I saying that felting is a sensible thing to do (although it is pretty cool).
Heartfelt thanks go out to my dear friend Lynn for putting these two words together in my ears. Felt. Sense. Felt sense. Here’s the lowdown from my own meditations/cogitations on the subject.
Each of us has a “felt sense” of who we are. Not as an individual, not as an identity, not as a role or a job or a calling or a mission, just a felt sense of who we are than never changes. We tend to not notice it much, or ignore it when we do. For some it’s comforting. For others, it’s terrifying. In the Eurocentric West, we have been conditioned to be identity-focused, individuated, self-starters, bootstrap-pullers; the opposite of the “felt sense” of the self. The opposite of You in the Now.
It is the eternal, ever-present, drop-in-the-ocean sense of soul, the truest you. The one that should be in charge.
Think about how you felt when you were 17, 21, 25, 38, 42 … Did you feel any different than you do now? Even after massive personal growth and transformational healing and all of the hard shadow work and all of the light work and everything else, do you feel any different than you did 10 or 20 or 30 years ago?
That is the felt sense of who you really are. You may have played different roles, tried on different identities, worn outlandish clothes or makeup, had yourself tattooed or pierced to express something … something … something not understood but so deep and so real and yet such an … ineffable (ah, look at this, ineffable = un-fuck-with-able?) sense of who you are, not only at the core, but on the galactic level. Huge you. Your vast, infinite, unknowable, ineffable self.
Think of all the times you have had a gut feeling, when you have just known something was, or was not, going to happen. All the times you were thinking of a friend and they called you. All the times you knew someone you loved was unwell or in trouble. That’s the self of the felt sense. The knowing self who lives so intimately with Time that everything that ever happened or will happen is knowable. It’s the “place” where you “go” when you are deeply meditating, or resting in the liminal space between sleep and waking.
How do we do more than accidentally tap into that?
Unfortunately, our human brains would probably melt down if we tried to live in that space. But it is completely safe, and in fact quite magically empowering and wonderful, to tap into it intentionally on a regular basis. If you are meditating daily, you are probably getting there often, and hopefully that makes it easier for you to access that state of mind. If you don’t meditate, don’t worry. You can still get there.
Get yourself someplace where you can switch things off. Do not take your phone, shut off the television, the computer, get rid of as many external signals as possible that jumble thought. (Pro tip, get yourself some shungite and put it around the places where wireless signals originate in your home, and even a tiny shungite disc that you can tape to the back of your phone. It doesn’t interfere with the wireless, but what it does is to cause the signal to flow in a clockwise direction, as opposed to it’s normal counter-clockwise flow, which is disruptive to the body and the mind.) If it’s impossible to do this at home, maybe try outside, in a park, or at a witchy friend’s house (witches are always excited to encourage others in their personal growth). Find someplace safe where you can have at least five minutes to yourself. Ten would be better, twenty or thirty is a party.
Get comfortable, seated so you are less likely to fall asleep, though falling asleep is pretty normal in the early days of concentration and meditation. Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, each one slightly slower and longer than the one before. And then … no pressure. None. Just allow yourself to be. And if you can, think about all the times you have felt the most like your eternal self, regardless of what else was happening. Don’t focus on the event, focus on the feeling you were having. Focus on what it felt like to be You. Did you feel energized, alive, aware, awake, strong, grounded, centered, tingly, empowered, peaceful, still, huge, open, connected, in bloom? Did it feel freeing or scary?
And what about now? Do you feel any of those things listed above, or something else? Eternal, engaged, feral, whole, healed …?
Focus on the feelings, on just being in the Now with You.
It takes practice. It’s like any skill, or a muscle; you have to develop it. It takes time and repetition. Start with a few minutes, and as you start to feel something, build up. Do not force yourself to do this for any particular length of time. I said five minutes, but if you can’t do more than two, that’s fine. That’s your starting point. It will get easier and better. Fortunately, your soul wants this contact and connection, and will do everything in its power to help you. Don’t fight it, don’t let it frustrate you, don’t judge your progress or your results. Do what you can, and let it be. It will come.
The more you enter into this sacred relationship with You, the more connected you will feel to everything, all people (I include plants, critters, rivers, rocks, trees, forests, and other living places and things in my definition of people), the Earth herself, the Moon, the Sun, the Milky Way … the more you embody and embrace your sacred self-ness, the more healing becomes possible for you. We are part of Earth and Sky. As Above, So Below; As Below, So Above. Don’t be afraid to live your felt sense.
Feeling in is calming and affirming to your well-being. Hey, sound therapy can help you get there! Let us help you.