On January 6, 2021. at around 10AM, Michael stepped into the garage and said, “Uh oh.”
The drop ceiling where the upstairs bathroom plumbing goes was . . . sagging. Significantly.
We had noticed there was something leaking over the summer, but it seemed intermittent, and we couldn’t find it, and it seemed to have stopped? Maybe? The place where the water was staining the ceiling was clear across the room from where the damage was actually happening. We weren’t to know that.
So on January 6, 2021, Michael started moving things out of harms way, backed the car out, got a bucket . . . and put a hole in the middle of the ceiling where it had bowed the worst. It took over an hour for the stream to turn to a trickle, and then another hour to get down to a steady drip. He pulled down more of the ceiling, and a bunch of insulation, and discovered that our hot water pipe heading up to the bathroom was leaking.
So the wall in the bathroom behind all the fixtures needed demolition, but we couldn’t see anything, so the opposite side of the wall that has the plumbing in it needed exposing, too — our office. Turns out, when this poor house was built 30-some years ago, the framing guys sucked at measuring and the water pipes were running through bottom of the bathroom wall frame about 3/8 of an inch from the office side of the wall. Drywall got slapped on, and by the time the finish was done, nobody knew that the pipes were right next to the wall, so when a finish carpenter put the trim along the bottom of the wall, he drove a nail right through the hot water pipe. Of course, the water wasn’t on yet, so nobody knew.
And there it sat. For 30 years. Just . . . corroding slowly away, until the summer of 2020, when it started to leak.
So bathroom, office and garage are all torn up because this house, like most of the others in this neighborhood, was slapped together so fast that nobody cared that the water supply pipes were in the wrong effing place. It was invisible. It was ignored, and covered up, and the framers moved on to the next house, where they probably did an equally shitty job, and nobody did anything about it. It was ignored, and covered up, all up and down the street.
Sound familiar? Things get ignored and covered up all the time. Like during the summer of 2020 when the Bad Precedent started purging folks at the Department of Defense and replacing them with “loyalists.” Well, we don’t know what’s going on there, and look, there’s another scandal way over there that is more interesting so let’s pay attention to that instead.
And then on January 6, 2021, a sitting President of the United States, with the full support of the DOD who did nothing whatsoever to interfere even when begged by congressional officials, incited an insurrection, because nobody had been paying attention to all the little signs and clues; their attention was being diverted. A person can only watch so many dumpster fires at one time. Seriously.
And here we are.
I’m not going to make this needlessly political. If you want political, DailyKos is all over this, and I enjoy their insightful independent coverage that isn’t beholden or answerable to any corporate entity’s filter.
This is more about paying attention to the little things, not being happy with half-assed solutions, getting to the root of an issue instead of slapping a band-aid on it.
It’s especially true with our bodies. Weird things happen. We’re very complex creatures.
But pain is always something we need to pay attention to. Pain is an indicator that something is definitely not right in this area. And if we don’t slow down and take the time to tune in, a little problem can become a big one. A friend was complaining about being short of breath all the time, and I said, “Have you talked to your doctor about that?” “No, I don’t want to bother her with that.” “Um, breathing is essential, and shortness of breath is often a symptom of something going on with your heart.” She nodded and grudgingly agreed she’d have it checked out. I should probably call and nag her.
Unexplained bruises. Sleeplessness. Headaches. Fatigue. Often these are signs of stress, but stress causes 80-90% if all illness. Yes, 80-90%. So pay attention. Michael has a t-shirt from some marathon he ran that says on the back, “Those who do not take time for exercise will have to take time for illness.” Somebody famous said that, but it’s now such a common quote that I can’t even find attribution that I trust to be remotely accurate. Exercise can be walking 30 minutes four days a week, working out, doing Yoga, dancing, whatever. But please make sure you enjoy it, or find a way to make it enjoyable.
And take time away from the rat race, get off the hamster wheel at regular intervals and breathe, rest, relax. I learned that I have to have regular intervals of solitude and relaxation, or my body finds a way to force me to take time off, like having an attack of vertigo while standing at the top of the stairs taking my shoes off . . . and splat. That was an unplanned week on the couch.
Our culture is not set up for this. We don’t do self-care unless the idea is literally clobbered into us. We’re guilt-tripped into thinking we have to work work work every minute and if we’re not working we’re not worthy and we have to keep going no matter what ouch no matter what ouch no matter what . . .
I know, I know, tell my boss I need a week of personal days and see how that goes. I had . . . several of those kinds of jobs over the years. Corporate America does not give a shit about your pain. I know. I understand. And we’re the only ones who can change that. There are numerous organizations popping up around the country to advocate for workers. “Union” is becoming less and less of a dirty word.
And of course, it’s true with our finances. Overspend on impulse a couple times, then have an emergency? Uh-oh doesn’t cut it.
But we do it. We’re human, we need things. We want things. We tend to let our wants get in the way of our needs. We tend to blind ourselves to reality once in a while. The ego decides it wants something and resistance is very nearly futile. But reality says that most Americans, and pretty much all of the Americans people like us know, are one-to-two paychecks away from bankruptcy and homelessness. Pay attention. Be aware. Defer gratification. Wait until you have the cash in hand. Maybe you won’t get everything you want, but that is okay. Most of the stuff we want ends up going to the resale shop in a couple years anyway. Shinier baubles will come along.
Relators tell you to buy as much house as you can possibly afford. I disagree. Buy the least amount of house that you can live in, and have a little breathing room at the end of the month. How the hell are we supposed to save money for anything if we’re dumping 40% of our income into house payments? Screw that. The ego, tho. We want a big fancy house in that special neighborhood. We don’t want the decent house in the safe but unglamorous neighborhood. I’ll take safe and unglamorous every time.
And if we don’t vote, and hold our representatives accountable, we can’t build the country we want. We have to pay attention.
Just because kindly old Uncle Joe and muy fabuloso Madame Vice-President Kamala Harris are going to be sworn in on January 20, just because Democrats now control the Presidency, the Senate and the House, that does not mean we can sit back and stop paying attention. No no no. We have an opportunity now, to actually have our voices heard. To raise a ruckus and have smart, empathetic people actually consider what we’re saying. But these folks are human, and they have egos, and Joe . . . well, he’s a friend to some people I sure wouldn’t want to be seen with, and Wall Street is getting all excited because these folks understand finance (well, finance as played by the evil shits on Wall Street, anyway) and so, We The People have to be watching and speaking up when we see shit go down that we don’t like. At least now we won’t have the constant stream of misinformation and malinformation spewing from every White House orifice. We’ll just have the regular amount of it. But I think Biden/Harris will be very by the book and above board and transparent . . . at least for a while. They know we’ve been lied to and abused for a long time. I think they’re smart enough to know that trust has to be earned.
At least I fucking hope so.
So the point is, pay attention to your life. Pay attention to the little leaks, and the aches and pains, and the cash flow. Vote with your conscience and hold representatives accountable. Applaud them when they do right, and let them know when they have crossed a line. Engage and observe, listen to your body. When you see something you gotta gotta gotta get, stop and think about it for a few moments. Make damn sure. Credit cards are evil, dangerous things, and people are way too dependent on them. Just . . . be careful with what little money us plebes get to have. Take care of yourself, prioritize your wellness, and make your peace of mind your guiding star.