In preparation for my upcoming hysterectomy, I have been getting some healing sessions, and accepting offers of help from friends without any hesitation. Not a single, “Oh, nah, I’m good, it’ll all work out. Don’t go to any trouble.” Nope. I’m all, “Oh, yes please, that would be fantastic! Thank you!”
And the World has not come to a screeching halt.
I am tough enough to not have to tough it out. I have nothing whatsoever to prove. I’ve been through some stuff that has made me smart and strong, that has made me powerful, that has actualized my bad ass. I am ready to kick back and let people take care of me.
At first, yeah, it was rough, and I did not like having to admit that I was going to be in pain, weak and exhausted for a while. I did not like the idea that I was going to have to be-effing-have for six weeks. Dear lord. It can’t be done.
But it has to be done, so it shall be done. So it is written. When your very serious doctor looks at you very seriously and says she doesn’t want you doing shit for three weeks, and then you are to spend three more weeks recovering, you find deep reserves of anti-gumption that you never imagined you had.
I have learned a few things by saying yes to offers of help. Some things I already knew, some things I didn’t.
- People really love doing nice things for people they really love. So by allowing people to do nice things for me, I’m actually doing something nice for them. Ha! Totally faked you out!
- Accepting offers of home-cooked meals from people means I get to discover new favorite foods right in my own home and I don’t have to do any dishes at all.
- Friends often wish they could spend a whole day together just hanging out, talking, catching up. Score! I’m doin’ a bunch of that!
- Women really do have a bond of sisterhood that connects us together by our energetic umbilical cords. It’s a womb thing. Whenever the “h” word is mentioned, every woman in earshot literally drops whatever they’re doing and says, “What do you need?” and it’s damn beautiful.
- The more we take care of each other – and allow others to take care of us – the further the ripples of care can spread into the world. Ripples! We’ve talked about them before.
Humans started out as a collective.
We cooperated, worked together for the good of the unit, and shared everything. Individualism, competition, domination . . . these have been really bad strategies. So having the opportunity to see, up close and personal, people surrounding someone with love and support with no expectation of a return, is humbling, breathtaking, beautiful and hopeful. We still have the instinct to hold each other up – and it’s strong.
I may have mentioned before that this world was not created to be a paradise; it’s a place of struggle and suffering that allows us to learn deep soul lessons and experience pain, loss, fear and heartbreak, as well as joy, love, accomplishment, peace, bliss, creative satisfaction and passion. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we deal with it. By choosing grace, we can assure that more good things are gonna come our way than bad.
By choosing to accept the love and support of the people around me, I am linking myself to the golden chain of love, support and abundance. It’s easy for me to offer support, to take care of others, to make medicines or give sessions to someone in need. It’s hard to let others do the same for me, but I am learning. No more lone wolf. I’m gratefully sinking into the collective. Thank you from my soul to all those souls who are holding me up at this moment. I will return the favor.