Strong doesn’t mean that we have to power through everything and that failing is for weaklings.
In fact, strength is a bad strategy for doing lots of things. Need to arrange some flowers? Strength is probably not going to help you as much as an artistic vision and a delicate touch. Need to write a novel? Strength is less important than good ideas and focus and the ability to type really really fast.
Mental strength can be great – but wait. Is there even such a thing? Can we really even be mentally strong? What does that mean? Can I bend spoons with my thoughts? No. And I don’t want to. Can I use my mind to focus on a goal so I can improve myself or my situation? Yes, but that isn’t strength so much as it’s desire for something better than I have. Can I put the ‘fluence on people and make them do what I want? Well, yes, but most of the time that’s a really, really bad idea.
Having a positive influence on someone means to point them to ideas, help them understand when they don’t get something, and then trust them to come to a conclusion that is right for them, whether it’s what you want them to think or not.
That actually doesn’t take strength. It takes unconditional love, which is much stronger than mere strength.
I learned something about mental strength recently while reading a book, The Path of the Masters by Julian Johnson. He was discussing the idea of getting rid of desire in order to attain inner peace. We have this mindset that we have to “give up” things that are bad in order to be worthy of things we think are good. We have to power through it, stay strong, don’t be tempted to give in, fight fight fight all the way.
Nah.
In the spiritual tradition described by Johnson, Sant Mat or Path of the Saints, the seeker is urged to focus their love on the Master when facing a temptation, and through the love of the Master the temptation will be dissolved. Some religions advise practitioners to “turn it over to God,” or “give it up to Source,” or transmute it and send it to Creator/Mother/God. It seems very simplistic and, honestly, a little immature, but . . .
It’s not stupid. Focus on something you want more than what is tempting you, which can be symbolized by God or the Master or anything that helps you feel empowered. Johnson compares it to putting some iron filings on a table top, and placing a magnet nearby. The filings will move toward the magnet — but if you put an even bigger magnet opposite the first magnet, the filings will change course and migrate in that direction instead. If your car is stuck in the mud, the more you spin the wheels the deeper you sink — until someone with a truck comes along and gives you the extra power you need to get unstuck. The Master is like the big magnet, or the truck.
The whole Universe is not, in actual fact, pulling for you to do the right thing and be the best you.
The forces of chaos are real, and they are ruthless. If there were no forces of chaos, bad things wouldn’t happen to good people nearly so much. Some of them are responsible for making sure Karmic debts get paid in full. Some of them exist to create challenges that we can react to with rage, impatience, or grace (I am frequently in the impatient camp). Some of them just screw with people for the hell of it, I swear.
Sometimes, chaos has to happen in order for old paradigms to break so we can create something new.
The forces of love, light and sound are much more powerful than the forces of chaos, but they tend to be very non-interventionist. They point us toward the ideas we need to explore, and let us make up our own minds about them. The love us enough to trust us to do what we really need to do, and when we choose something that isn’t good for us, the natural consequences of that choice are often punishment enough.
Karma isn’t really a bitch. We reap what we sow, and sometimes we seem to sow nothing but weeds.
Dieters have been using a watered down version of this technique for years. Put a photo of a dress you really want to fit into on the fridge where you have to see it every time you have the urge to grab an off-program snack so it can deter you from breaking your diet. For a small number of people it works, but for most, it isn’t enough, because it isn’t real enough. Visualize yourself as thin and willowy, fitting into those too-tight jeans. Doubly difficult, because not only are you relying on yourself to be strong when you have admitted by this very practice that you are not, you’re relying on a version of yourself that doesn’t even exist. Inside every heavy woman is a heart, couple of lungs, a stomach, liver, spinal column, intestines, uterus . . . No thin woman running around screaming and raging at the walls of her prison.
We try to play tricks on ourselves because we know we’re not “strong” enough to overcome temptation. It rarely works, because it is damned hard work to be accountable to yourself. We will let ourselves get away with murder as long as we keep it secret and promise to feel deeply ashamed later. And that just perpetuates bad feelings, and yes, adds decades on to the Karma you are creating for yourself, which is far worse than the inches it adds to your hips.
Just now, I was thinking about the bag of pistachios on the kitchen counter. Salty goodness. So I focused on my desire to master my thoughts through following the Path of the Masters, focused on my desire to become an initiate into the Audible Life Stream — because that is a much, much stronger desire than a temporary fix of salt and fat — and grabbed a nectarine instead.
I didn’t get rid of desire; I just picked a much bigger, cooler desire.
Desire to be of service to humanity; desire to be grateful for everything; desire to serve Source/Creator/God/dess; desire to live gently on Earth. My desire to be of service to my community through healing sounds is in complete harmony with my desire to be initiated into the Audible Life Stream, because that initiation will enhance my skills and abilities a thousandfold. It may be years before I am truly ready, but I am strong in my desire.
What is the bigger, cooler desire that can drive you past temptation? What is the profound and powerful longing that can propel you through the chaos and into the love? Don’t have one? Get over here and let’s get you some clarity on your higher goals.