The Lucky Ones

There’s no danger of our lights being turned off, or of us running out of food. Our cars are paid off, and there’s money to have some life once in a while.

I have the intense luxury of waking up every morning feeling relaxed, happy and looking forward to a great day. 

How lucky is that? I can’t even tell you. I don’t have to go to a job I hate. I don’t have to dig in the car and couch for loose change to buy food so my kid doesn’t go hungry. I don’t have to file paperwork and wait in long lines and be sneered at and dehumanized in order to get the paltry amount of money the government thinks my family should be able to survive on.

I did that. Long ago. Times were bad, there was no choice. It was awful, degrading, I was regularly shamed by clerks in the grocery store for paying with food-stamps. I was so grateful to get a job that I didn’t even care that it was awful for a really long time.

Why am I reliving these oh-so lovely memories? Because it’s important to remember that even though I was in a really bad place, really broke and dirt poor and struggling just to keep living indoors, I somehow managed to make a better world for myself by sheer stubborn determination and very real strength.

Let me tell ya, it’s frickin’ hard to keep anything like a positive attitude when you are living like that. 

When people around me who are not as lucky as I am get depressed, are in pain, find themselves stuck so fast in the struggle that they can’t move anymore, I don’t ever shame them for not showing the world a dazzling smile and copping a can-do attitude. Because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like. It sucks ass and you can’t see a way out and everywhere you turn somebody is there to judge you and push you further down.

But here’s a powerful truth. Enduring that takes enormous strength. It takes incredible power. It takes somebody with a core of determination and unshakable faith.

There is no shame in being strong enough to survive that shit.

Privilege is a tricky thing. It’s easy to take things for granted. I have become so settled, so secure, that I just waltz through the world with very little real effort at all. Once in a while I have to remember that it wasn’t always so easy. It took a pocketful of miracles and a hell of a lot of gumption and a lot of digging in and hanging on, but once I broke out of the situation I was in, that core of determination shifted from survival mode to never again mode. And now that I have reached a place where I can be safe and secure, it is my responsibility to create more of it from a place of gratitude.

Responsibility? Oh yes. It’s easy for me to wake up every morning feeling grateful and blessed and glad to be alive. It’s easy for me to be exactly where I want and need to be. It’s easy now. It wasn’t easy at all a decade ago. But because I have done it, it’s my responsibility to keep doing it.

It’a about morphic resonance. Every time a mouse successfully solves a maze, it makes it easier for all the other mice to solve the maze. Guess what? It works for humans, too, though we don’t want to admit it. It’s like the Hundredth Monkey thing.

Every time I overcome a barrier to my success or well-being, it gets a little easier for someone else to overcome theirs. Every time I learn something, it gets easier for the next person to learn it. Every time I experience joy, it ripples out from me and brightens the world around me, making it easier for someone else to experience joy.

I’m one of the Lucky Ones. My default state is contentment. I get happy pretty damn easily (seriously, it doesn’t take much). So it is my responsibility, my duty to my fellow humans, to do everything I can to raise my own vibration and be in that state as much as possible – not to flaunt it or make anybody feel like they’re somehow not good enough, but because the more people experience joy, bliss, contentment, flow, whatever you want to call it, the easier it is for other people to discover and experience it.

That’s it. That’s why I do the love thing, the nurturing thing, the encouragement thing, the listening thing, the space-holding thing, the random acts of kindness thing, because every pearl of joy I put into the world makes it easier for people who are stuck in bad places to get out.

Every time I plug a stranger’s parking meter on the street, I think maybe I just saved a single mom from a parking ticket – and sometimes $3 does really make the difference between a kid going hungry that day or not. I know. I’ve been there.

Every time I stop to offer someone a complement, it seems like something magical happens. A face creased with worry or stress suddenly brightens and relaxes, and true beauty blazes up from within. And I know that my small gesture, that doesn’t even cost me anything, will cascade, because putting a woman in touch with her inner badass rockstar self will dissolve a multitude of obstacles. I know. I’ve been there.

If one of my clients really needs a session because they’re broke and hurting and need the healing, I say come on, don’t worry about it, pay me whatever or whenever you can–because I believe in what I do. I know that after they’ve had a session with me they will feel so much better that the solutions to their problems will surface, and they will be back for more and be able to afford it. A massage therapist once did that for me, and I’ve never forgotten it. It made a world of difference at a very dark time.

These seem like really trivial, little things, but most of life is made up of trivia. It’s all small stuff, as they say. They also say mighty oaks from little acorns grow. Don’t ever doubt the power of small, selfless actions.

We who are so lucky have to hold not just space for those who can’t hold it for themselves, but hold the best and brightest future space for them that we can. 

We have to believe in her success, because maybe she can’t right now. We have to trust him to take the next right step for his well-being, because he probably can’t see which way to turn. We have to have faith in her, because she might not have any faith left.

Look at your struggling sister or brother, with unconditional love, and create a little bubble in which they are laughing, comfortable, relaxed, and yes, happy. Then compress that bubble down to the size of a flower seed, and blow it to them. Know it’s going to land where it will sprout and begin to grow. It may take years for it to flower, and even longer to bear fruit, but fruit it will.

Every morning when you wake up, be grateful for the day. Be thankful that you are strong, healthy and safe. Be grateful for the plenty you live in, and ask for opportunities to brighten the world today. The world needs a hell of a lot of brightening. Those opportunities will find you, and you will become a miracle maker. It’s the best responsibility ever.

Thank you, Spirit, for giving me the chance to ease someone’s suffering, or clear someone’s path, or melt someone’s fear today. 

That’s lucky.

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